Why do people???

@ffairs@INFIDELITY


 Why do people - men and woman - have affairs??

I've heard a whole host of 'causes' of - or 'reasons' for - infidelity. I've listed below the main ones I've come across in my mind..

KEEP IN MIND!...

You, like many others, may have ‘found’ yourself dealing with infidelity for one or a number of the following: (if)

15 'Reasons' or excuses for infidelity

1. Someone paid you attention - you badly needed it, or at least you thought you did, and it made you feel fantastic.
2. For no ‘apparent’ reason you feel (or felt) hopelessly attracted to someone and you can't put that person out of your mind - he/she is 'the love of your life'.
3. Your partner has had an affair and now you're out for adventure as revenge... almost anyone will do - you'd love to be dealing with infidelity.
4. Your marriage or relationship is dead - both you and your partner know it, and you feel that the affair is giving you something you otherwise wouldn't have had. Of course, there are plenty of people who would claim their marriage is dead without their spouse knowing about it!
5. You haven't been in a committed relationship to know how precious it can be, and therefore haven't given the other partner any thought at all.
6. You feel this is your chance for a ‘bit of happiness -– for whatever reason. Your happiness is very likely to be short-lived - for you, an affair is not the answer. Avoiding dealing with what really makes you unhappy is just going to prolong the agony long-term.
7. You're young and feel privileged to be the 'chosen one' of someone older and/or in a position of power. You may not realise the total devastation your dealing with infidelity may cause.
8. You feel the 'chosen one' of someone in a position of power -– the affair appears to do wonders for your low-self esteem and/or lack of confidence.
9. Your partner suffers from a long-term illness, taking up all your attention, time and other resources. There's no space for you and this affair is meeting your needs - emotional and/or physical.
10. You have a long-distance relationship; you're missing having someone close and you want some fun. 
11. You don't care about your relationship or your lover's primary relationship –- you're having (or you had) an affair out of bravado and contempt, and for any perceived ‘kudos’ - adultery is the name of the game.
12. You have a greater need for a physical relationship and your partner has never been that interested, has lost interest or just can'’t ‘provide’ for whatever reason.
13. You're feeling invincible and see no problem in doing just what you like. You have a list of reasons as to why you're entitled to have an affair, but you're beginning to have niggles about it.
14. You're in touch again with an old flame and despite being married or in a relationship, you feel driven to be close to this person.
15. You had absolutely no idea that your ‘lover’ was/is already married or in a relationship. This is a really painful one, if you truly didn't know. You were lied to and now you're having to cope with the shock of that discovery and, quite likely, the end of that relationship.

Whatever your reason for being unfaithful, the above are only factors that may have led up to you having a marital affair. They aren't excuses - you made choices.

If you're dealing with infidelity or an extramarital affair, I'm afraid to say it will end in tears for at least one of the parties - if it hasn'’t already.....

 Just a POEM :...

 "Having an affair is nothing like taking a pottery class.

  NO.

  It would start out like that, and then,

  ummm, something would happen,

  Someone, uhm, finds out, or 

  Someone falls in love, and

  it ENDs disastrously.

  It always ends DISASTROUSLY...." - Unfaithful